Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Power of the Fight ~ Bachelor Edition

There is just something about that show that sucks ya in... yeah i know shame on me for watching such a show. However I find it actually interesting how the whole thing works, how these girls prance around in their bathing suits (if that's what a small piece of fabric is), how they will kiss a guy that is also kissing several of their housemates etc...
One thing I did come up with is these girls will fight, sometimes literally, sometimes using physical power, or their looks or their words to get this man. I wonder what will happen once they get them and they are tired of fighting for their man, when the competition is gone ? How will they keep that fire going when there are no lavish dates and the cameras are gone.
It's kinda the same in our marriages ya know ? We girls work so hard to look good, to eat nice, to make sure the dates are perfect, and to not let our "ugly side" show.
Once you get married the fight is gone... you have the man you have the ring now what ? No one prepares for what it looks like... the good the bad the ugly. What happens when the money bank is dry and you can't go on fun dates, what happens when your not feeling good and the spicy sexy wife isn't feeling that way.

So here is the question ~How do you fight for your marriage ? What do you do to keep that spark going ? How do you stay close when you have kids hanging on ya ? Let's share our ideas and help each other out!


~jen~ said...

hahaha...mommy and daddy nap-time (hee hee, doors locked, kids are entertained elsewhere...of course, our kids are old enough to "care for themselves" during this time). Every now and then a new pretty bra/panties or whatever because I know he likes that. ;o) We don't get date nights very often but every couple of months or so the grandparents take the kids for a weekend and we get plenty of alone time. Lots of time communicating...mostly at night while laying in bed but we spend a good amount of time chatting throughout the day via text/email when he's at work.
Friday nights have turned into "movie night"...rent a movie for the kids and then one for us...and we spend a couple hours just being alone and doing something "mindless" (which inevitably brings up convo). Sharing with each other what we learned that day or whatever (especially after reading books or getting some revelation in Scripture).
I dunno...for us, it seems a LOT of communication helps and just being together, snuggling. I can't say the other kind of intimacy happens often enough since the week is tiring and kids are always needing/wanting something...but weekends seem to be time to "catch up" in that department.
If I could get myself motivated...working out together would be cool. Our money bank is definitely dry right now so we've just found lots of little ways to enjoy each other's company at home...playing games, video games (the new Mario for Wii is great bonding time for us, LOL), reading alongside each other, aforementioned movie-watching, cooking together, etc.
I think the spark just kinda changes as you get comfortable in a long-term relationship (err, marriage!). It's not always going to be earth-shattering, mind-blowing ignition...ya know...learning to enjoy the quiet moments and just being together and feeling each other's warmth is pretty reassuring, safe, and lovely.

Tanya said...

I just read a mag devoted to the whole idea of "love for the long haul". One comment stood out to me and spoke volumes to me..."we learn to value trust OVER discovery".

It's so easy to think...there's nothing new to learn about this guy and all of the newness of the first few months/years is gone...but truly the trust that builds in the years together is SO irreplaceable and so much more valuable and lasting than "oh wow, I just got my first Valentines' Day gift from him'..or whatever. The firsts ARE amazing and thrilling but they can't be redone and if you 'grow where you're planted' and with WHO you've been planted WITH!..the stuff that comes after the firsts is pretty great too!

patty said...

Date night is a must for those of your with young children. When our kids were small and we would go out, sometimes we wouldn't have anything to say to each other. I use to think how sad that was and worried that we were losing our connection, but now I realize, we were just enjoying the QUIET time together:)
About The Bachelor, I've never missed an episode...totally sucked in!!

Melody said...

Hey....you have a blog award awaiting you!

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